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1) Jim was sitting with a group of people during a break in the working day. They were
talking light-heartedly about the new procedures for booking annual leave.
During a brief lull in the conversation someone asked him: 'How do you think
the changes will affect you?' Jim's mind went blank. He could not think
of anything to say. He thought that everyone was looking at him, and the
ensuing silence seemed to go on for an eternity, while he stared at the floor.
Finally he managed to mumble 'I don't really know,' and the conversation
continued around him while he felt mortified: stupid, embarrassed, and angry
with himself for not being able to answer such a simple question more
easily. He was sure that he had just confirmed their general impression
of him as totally inadequate.
2) A woman hates to stand in line in the grocery store
because she's afraid that everyone is watching her. She knows that it's not
really true, but she can't shake the feeling. While she is shopping, she is
conscious of the fact that people might be staring at her from the big
mirrors on the inside front of the ceiling. Now, she has to talk to the
person who's checking out her groceries. She tries to smile, but her voice
comes out weakly. She's sure she's making a fool of herself. Her self-consciousness
and anxiety rise to the roof.
3) Another person sits in front of the telephone and
agonizes because she's afraid to pick up the receiver and make a call.
She's even afraid to call an unknown person in a business office about the
electric bill because she's afraid she'll be "putting someone out" and they
will be upset with her. It's very hard for her to take rejection, even over
the phone, even from someone she doesn't know. She's especially afraid to
call people she does know because she feels that she'll be calling at the
wrong time -- the other person will be busy -- and they won't want to talk
with her. She feels rejected even before she makes the call. Once the call
is made and over, she sits, analyzes, and ruminates about what was said,
what tone it was said in, and how she was perceived by the other
person....her anxiety and racing thoughts concerning the call prove to her
that she "goofed" this conversation up, too, just like she always does.
Sometimes she gets embarrassed just thinking about the call.
4) A man finds it difficult to walk down the street because he’s
self-conscious and feels that people are watching him from their
windows. Worse, he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be
forced to say hello to them. He’s not sure he can do that. His
voice will catch, his "hello" will sound weak, and the other person
will know he’s frightened. More than anything else, he doesn’t want
anyone to know that he’s afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from
anyone else’s gaze and prays he can make it home without having to
talk to anyone.
5) A man hates to go to work because a meeting is scheduled the next day.
He knows that these meetings always involve co-workers talking with each
other about their current projects. Just the thought of speaking in
front of co-workers raises his anxiety. Sometimes he can’t sleep the
night before because of the anticipatory anxiety that builds up. Finally,
the meeting is over. A big wave of relief spills over him as he begins to
relax. But the memory of the meeting is still uppermost in his mind. He is
convinced he made a fool of himself and that everyone in the room saw how
afraid he was when he spoke and how stupid he acted in their presence. At
next week’s meeting, the boss is going to be there. Even though this meeting
is seven days away, his stomach turns raw with anxiety and the the fear
floods over him again. He knows that in front of the boss he’ll stammer,
hesitate, his face will turn red, he won’t remember what to say, and
everyone will witness his embarrassment and humiliation.
6) A student won’t attend her university classes on the first day because
she knows that in some classes the professor will instruct them to go
around the room and introduce themselves. Just thinking about sitting
there, waiting to introduce herself to a roomful of strangers who will be
staring at her makes her feel nauseous. She knows she won’t be able to
think clearly because her anxiety will be so high, and she is sure she
will leave out important details. Her voice might even quaver and she
would sound scared and tentative. The anxiety is just too much to bear
-- so she skips the first day of class to avoid the possibility of having
to introduce herself in public.
7) Another young man wants to go to parties and other social events --
indeed, he is very, very lonely -- but he never goes anywhere because
he’s very nervous about meeting new people. Too many people will be there
and crowds only make things worse for him. The thought of meeting new people
scares him -- will he know what to say? Will they stare at him and make him
feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him outright? Even if they
seem nice, they’re sure to notice his frozen look and his inability to
fully smile. They’ll sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won’t
like him – there’s just no way to win – "I’m always going to be an outcast,"
he says. And he spends the night alone, at home, watching television again.
He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only place he does feel
comfortable. He hasn’t gone anywhere in twelve years.
8) In public places, such as work, meetings, or shopping, people with
social phobia feel that everyone is watching and staring at them
(even though rationally they know this isn’t true). The socially anxious
person can’t relax, "take it easy", and enjoy themselves in public. In
fact, they can never relax when other people are around. It always feels
like others are evaluating them, being critical of them, or "judging" them
in some way. The person with social phobia knows that people don’t do this
openly, of course, but they still feel the self-consciousness and the
judgment while they are in the other person’s presence. It’s sometimes
impossible to let go, relax, and focus on anything else except the
anxiety. Because the anxiety is so very painful, it’s much easier just to
stay away from social situations and avoid other people.
http://www.social-anxiety-network.com/examples.html#1
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